Good evening guys,
Yes I know, it’s so great to hear from me again. I missed you guys as I always do! I’ve been trying to dive back into work while battling changes to my routine these past few days as we’ve been celebrating with several people, my partner’s birthday. It’s been good if a tad overwhelming. I’m not used to so much social interaction outside of work and home. So it’s been a big change and I didn’t get much done besides today.
Now, if you’ve been following my posts you’ll already, but I’ll say it again for anyone who is new. I am in a semi-permanent state of burnout as I’ve taken on a 6th day of work because a co-worker cannot (one of his courses overlaps with that day of work) and no one else can work it. So I’ve done this to myself, but fairly, I hadn’t realized how long I had agreed to do this, but it’s been a month and I’ve been made aware that they’ll need me to continue this for at least another month. So that is the current state of my life.
So, let’s get to the exciting bit as the title suggests. Yes, progress, I made very good headway today, even counting all the extra changes in my life at the moment and all the exciting and anxious times happening around me. Today is my best writing day of 2022 so far. I banged out a bit more than 2K words and I am so proud of myself. And for the first time in a long time I found myself working on more than one project the last couple of days, but today I made greater headway in the older project which excites me more than you can know.
I’m always hard on myself when it comes to beginning new projects before I’ve finished an old one because once a new project has begun a new one will begin and a new one after that. So I never get back to the oldest project that is nearly completed, but that I’ve lost touch with. Well, I’ve gotten back into this older project and have a renewed energy to see it through to the end. So today is my highest word count day of 2022. And the fact that it happened during a writing drought so to speak, is amazing. It gives me hope that I’ll make it through this tough time. And my writing will help me do that. I just gotta keep fighting for what I want.
So today was a good day, I relaxed, binged some TV with my partner and relaxed for a great deal of it. I enjoyed myself and after pumping out 2K words I felt more than justified in my relaxation time, no matter how much of it I got. Part of handling burnout rather than suffering through it is accepting it as part of the process and part of your life and letting it do it’s thing. During this time I’ve learned to be patient, not just with my time (as there is so little of it) but with my creativity and myself. Sometimes the ideas might be flowing but I’m too tired or too stressed so nothing will come out well, it’ll be muddled or heavy and it’ll be something I completely delete later. So I stopped pushing myself. when I have a nice block of time that’s when I settle down and try to let the words flow instead of concentrating and forcing them out.
So things are going really well today and I feel hopeful that I can find a way to not just survive, but thrive in many situations. Today I thrived, even in my burnout. I let the words and my writing guide me, flow through me and make me happy. I didn’t force them, the only thing I forced myself to do was sit in the chair. Everything else took over.
You can do it too. You can beat burnout, stop surviving, relax, listen to the ideas, listen to the story, what it needs, what it needs from you. And let go, if the story is ready to be written it’ll flow out of you, carrying you in a whirlwind you’ll lose yourself in. Forcing the words is hard and it yields little results. Be patient with yourself and love yourself even when progress isn't made, or when progress is smaller than you’d hoped. This time is difficult enough without beating yourself up over it. Take a breath, take a beat, but return to the chair every chance you get and see if anything comes out.
Well, thank you so much for tuning in guys. I really did miss you! I wish I had time to post every single day, but that’s just not feasible right now I’m afraid. But you’ll see me again. Today was a good day and if you haven’t had one for a while then I hope you get one soon and I’m sure you will. Until then you can share mine, my small success, my small glimmer of hope that the burnout isn’t the end, that it won’t stick or stay forever. It’s just temporary and I look forward to the day it vanishes for a while.
I really enjoy being here. Especially sharing these moments with you that impact my writing. It’s real and it feels more real. Struggle is real and shows how you are strong. I know you are strong, because I am and so is every writer. Only we can take whatever readers throw at us and still have the courage to publish and write again and again after that. Because there’s something in it for us. Because we get something out of it too. It makes us happy. It makes us who we are.
Alright, I think I’d better go, this what much deeper than I’d intended, but it’s the truth and I’m choosing to own it. Not everything is easy, least of all writing a book, creating a world, a story from scratch. So let’s go easy on ourselves. If you’re doing this while struggling with burnout then you are a damned hero and I think you’re amazing and strong and you can do anything. Please comment below, let’s talk about whatever you want! I want to hear from you, to know you, to hear about your journey, about your writing. Lots of love, beauties! Happy reading and writing. Until next time, bye.
Celine Rose Marie